Challenge Your Beliefs To Become Happy & Successful

Challenge Your Beliefs

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to share with you my deepest, greatest regret and invite you to challenge your beliefs by explaining why doing that is critical to your success and happiness. 

First a quick update:

It seems that I created a storm with the media and others for my insights as a Human Behavior Expert and Celebrity Life Coach as to the reasons for Sarah Palin’s sudden popularity. I have given interviews to media as diverse as Broadminded (an all-women show on XM radio), Playboy radio, Spanish TV and UK radio. You can read and add your comments to my blog: “Media storm over press release: Is Sarah Palin seducing America”.

“Stilettos for babies”
Please take the time to read my blog and become aware of this shocking development, click here.

Now let’s talk about a controversial topic – challenging your beliefs.

I mentioned above that my insights into Sarah Palin’s appeal have created a surge of emotional responses. And it seems that no matter how many times I poin out to people that I am speaking as a Human Behavior Expert and that I am not offering any political stances or making judgments about Palin’s capabilities as a politician, people get angry or accuse me of being bias or worse.

The highly charged responses by people in the media and individuals raises two key questions: Are there absolute truths and are you your beliefs?

I have to date, only endorsed two people or messages: one is “Mind Movies Creation Kit” – a phenomenal way of focusing on what you want to create in your life, a kind of three-dimensional vision board. The other is Dr. Joe Rubino an expert who helps people to raise their self-esteem.

Joe and I have recorded two powerful interviews on self-esteem and the Law of Deservedness which will be available for you to listen to next week.

In our detailed discussion, Joe raised the point that people are attached to “absolute truths.”  And he is right, we often believe that things are black and white and when we become attached to those beliefs it creates great pain because if someone challenges our beliefs, we take it personally.

Are you your beliefs?

Yes, our beliefs determine how we feel, our results and our enjoyment of life – but are we our beliefs? If I challenge your beliefs, is that the same as saying you are a bad person, or you are not worthy or not good? Of course, not. But too many people have made their identity their beliefs rather than making their identity their inner qualities, gifts and talents.

If I don’t like the car you are driving does that make you bad or less than, not good enough? Point here: you are not your car or what you believe about your car’s worth.

I know that you might say, of course, there are absolute truths, such as “my beliefs about God.” Well, what was the concept of God that people had before Jesus came? Jesus offered a new understanding of God and even replaced many old customs and beliefs.

If someone challenges your beliefs about your political ideologies, does that make you inferior for not believing the same things? Many people incorrectly feel that when someone disagrees with or challenges your beliefs that they are in fact invalidating you, crushing you. That is false -unless you allow it to be your truth.

Do you remember when you were a child and you thought kissing a boy or a girl was yucky? Do you remember a time when you thought this item of clothing or this hairstyle was the coolest thing on earth and now you feel embarrassed to think you ever wore those clothes or hairstyle?

My point here is that when you hold every belief to be unmoveable, unchangeable, not only do you open up yourself for others to push your buttons, control or manipulate you, you also create a lot of pain.

I will share my experience and my greatest regret with you.

I left Australia many years ago for what was supposed to be a three-month vacation, and I ended up living around the world ever since. At the time, I had an “absolute truth” belief about my father that was to be shattered the day he died. At my father’s eulogy service, my two younger brothers, Paul and Christian, eleven and twelve years younger than me spoke about my father. I was shocked as I listened to them describe a man I never knew. I thought to myself, “Who are they talking about?”

All I knew of my father was the angry man who used to beat the hell out of me, to the point where I couldn’t walk or raise my arms; a man that would shout, scream and have fits of anger and rage. But years later, he wasn’t that way towards my two younger brothers. He had changed. My father had become softer, more compassionate, more caring. I just never experienced that part of him because I never gave him another chance. I wasn’t ready to let go of my absolute truth and now I regret it.

I spent fifteen years away from home on the other side of the world, trying to escape my pain, myself but living in anger. And now, all I remember of my father are the two-minute phone conversations with him across the globe when he would say the same thing every time, “You are worrying your mom. When are you coming home son? Keep your nose clean son. Stay out of politics. Are your praying daily son?”

I am saying that I deeply regret that I never knew my father and it is too late now. I never knew him simply because I refused to challenge my beliefs. I held onto them so tight, and if someone said anything different about my dad, I would get so angry because I felt they were invalidating me and what I experienced, the beatings and abuse. But the insight and revelation here is that my father wasn’t just what I experienced him to be, he was more and because I chose to believe he was one way and only one way, (my absolute truth) the result was that I missed out on knowing and having a relationship with my father. I missed out on him knowing who I am.

I humbly invite you and encourage you to challenge your own beliefs, particularly about the people around you, the people closest to you.I sincerely feel that if you go deeper, you will find the way to forgive them and yourself, and thus you will find peace and happiness.

Check out my Blog and read my past Success Newsletters, post your comments and take a few exciting quizzes. If you have received this newsletter as a forward and would like to receive all of my newsletters please enter your email address on the home page.

I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & Clinical Hypnotherapist
www.patrickwanis.com

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  1. Avatar
    Cher says:

    Have you ever sat and really thought about the life that man created? Not God but man? Have you realized how stupid everything is? See, the thing with me is, I’m not interested in life the way men have made it but how God has made it and how he intended us to live. That thought alone gives me peace. We are only on this earthy plane for such a short time and someday we will be with God forever. Why cling so hard to this way of life and allow it to transform our lives for the worse. I really doubt that God had this in mind for us, you know…how most of us live. I doubt he would give us the gift of life and then tell us to suffer for it. We live in such suffering and tragedy and then slap a good label on it. Such as “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger!” What kind of sick, freaky, horror movie of a thing to say and then everyone buys into like its golden. Take another look. That is a horrid thing to say to someone. Or, how people speak of war and then psychotically wave the flag and call it freedom. It doesn’t matter how well it is put, war, death, suffering, and trauma…it is still very wrong. It changes our spirits and who we are in the worst way. Other things include saying that life isn’t fair. I challenge anyone to say that to God and see how valid that pathetic excuse is. Or the way we are so greedy when it comes to money. How ridiculous! Look at the economy right now!

    Our Higher Power wanted something else for all of us. The truth is slapping us in the face. We don’t have Doctor’s, Psychiatrists, pharmaceutical drugs, and support groups because we are all doing something right. We will never know how life is meant to be lived if we all do the same thing over and over and over. Like, get mad and frustrated over the same things. Get up every day with the same attitude. Do the same routine with our lives day in and day out. And then have every excuse for why we do what we do. We can never learn and grow if we don’t change on the inside. Our perspective needs to change. Our attitude needs to change. Our priorities need to change. Our thinking needs to change. Every time we have a thought that doesn’t serve us positively, we should throw it out and think of it differently.

    Take the animal kingdom for instance. When do they ever have sleepless nights worrying about where the rent money is going to come from? When do they stay up late wondering if their significant other is getting drunk somewhere? When do they go racing down the street because they are racing the clock to get to work? When do they ever worry about growing old or when death is near and wonder if they will leave a legacy behind? Animals are our teachers NOT the other way around. I love animals, all of them….land, sea, and air. I pay very close attention to them and learn and find myself smiling. Bliss comes from certain places and this is one of them. Gods divine presence speaks through them, so little of us listen.

    Humans in all their glory are actually pretty damn stupid and blind. I pray every day and every night that I live my life exactly the way God intended me to. I want to know what living life fully means in Gods eyes. I pray for happiness and contentment and guidance. Trust me, the way I attain these things is by not following anyone else’s lead. Look where that has got us. If someone is trying to hurt me or prevent me from going further down my spiritual path, I tell them that I am in awe of what God is doing in my life and if you think you have the right to take that away from me, I will beat you till you see God. Granted, I’m only kidding but sometimes people won’t listen any other way. And as I go about my way, I remind myself how un evolved those people are that are angry, frustrated, hateful, negative, and so forth. I got better things to do. I run my own life and if I do it well, I won’t have time to do anything else and that is the way it should be.

    Life really is beautiful and happy and peaceful. You just have to leave out the things that AREN’T even if it is your friends and your own family. You won’t be alone for long because the people that are happy and peaceful will find you. Please, believe me, I really am living in bliss and contentment and it is very real. It isn’t a head game. Someday, I will be face to face with my Higher Power and I won’t have to answer why I didn’t live my life. No excuse in the world will ever be good enough to Gods ears.

    Love, Cher CA

  2. Avatar
    Patrick says:

    Dear Mary,

    I thank you for sharing your story and pain. I know that you must be experiencing a particularly hard time and feeling pain for the loss of your father as well as the daily pain of the financial burden. I honor and acknowledge your courage as well as your desire for inner peace and the daily gestures you make to forgive your half-brother. I hope that your example might lead him to change.
    I wish you the best.

    Patrick

  3. Avatar
    Mary Barrett says:

    Patrick, I appreciate the Changing Your Beliefs article so much. How I wish I could send that to my half-brother who has accused me of stealing money from my Dad.

    Because my half-brother could only see my Dad as a mean angry man, when my Dad was very ill and really needed him, his son, who was his power of attorney, took his money and his home, kicked my mother out of her home and put my Dad in an assisted living facility and left him there

    When our Dad became really sick, I wrote this brother before I did anything as I was also a power of attorney for my Dad. I rolled my Dad’s account from Florida to a New York bank with only his name on it and began the process to get him into a nursing home with his wife, but this son would not allow it.

    To make a long story short – my Dad gave up. He knew what his son did to him and the last days of his life were saddened by it. Unbelievably though my Dad said not to be mad at my half-brother.

    I am depleted moneywise, so I am Pro Se and this lawsuit saddens me but I’ve done exactly what you say to do – change your beliefs. So while go through this I pray to forgive my half-brother and go to court knowing the truth will come out and I will be exonerated – because it always does. When this is over I will not take this into my future or my half-brother and that’s okay. I had my relationship with my dad I saw both sides, I daily forgive the bad he did.

    But what has the more value in my life is I have no regrets that I didn’t do the right thing.

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