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End Of Another Year – Now What? More Mindless New Year’s Resolutions?

New Year’s Resolutions? Subtle art of giving a fu*k; mark manson, existential crisis; pandemic;

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to like to discuss the end-of-year crisis most of us experience, along with the mindless New Year’s Resolutions.

First a quick update: 

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Now, What Really Matters To You?

The Covid-19 Pandemic has disrupted life and the world with losses, confusion, instability, uncertainty, lockdowns, mandates, illnesses and deaths. At the end of your life, what will you regret? Will you regret what you did or what you didn’t do?  Watch the video

Now, let’s talk about the end-of-year crisis most of us experience, along with the mindless New Year’s Resolutions.

Did it happen to you?

As a result of the pandemic, did you go through an existential crisis: ‘What am I doing? Why am I doing any of these things? Does any of this have any meaning? What is my purpose? What do I want now?’

Yes, I experienced it.

I saw the emptiness of a lot of life, particularly the incessant, relentless drive for more – more money, more possessions, more stuff, more certainty, more security, more busyness, more fun. And for what?

All for the hope that ‘more’ would fill the inner emptiness.

End of a year – more New Year Resolutions?

And now, the pandemic continues to rage, and we come to the end of another year; now what?

I believe it is natural and healthy to take inventory at the end of each year – what am I doing and why am I doing it? Is it fulfilling me, or just filling me with meaningless distractions?

Is the hard work, the struggle, the suffering all worth it?

I found the answer for me in a simple principle.

You know that you are pursuing something and doing something of value when you are willing to experience the adversity. In other words, you believe the adversity is something you accept and even embrace…the adversity, the pain, and the struggle are all smaller than your goal or purpose. They are the problems you are willing to face.

Life is full of pain, suffering, challenges & negative experiences; and only when you have a big goal (a meaningful goal for you) are you focused on surmounting these many obstacles. In fact, the obstacles enrichen your experience and make the struggle worthwhile.

What do you care about? What is success?

Now, I cannot answer these questions for you: What is success for you? What do you care about? What is important and meaningful to you?

The answer to these questions is embedded in your values – the things and principles that give your life value.

Yes, I offer special exercises to help individual clients and workshop participants to help them identify their core values. But the answer and responsibility to find the answer to the questions, ‘What do you really care about, and what is success?’ lay with you.

Therefore, instead of making more New Year’s Resolutions (which are usually just preferences, and very rarely commitments, vows or declarations), choose to know thyself. Start now to identify the things that give your life meaning. List the things and people which you actually care about. Don’t just blindly follow everyone else – lose weight, make more money, etc. It is your life, and you have the power to choose. And, if someone else has been making those choices for you, then start there.

Why did you allow others to determine what you should care about? You might think you are helpless, a victim and therefore, you hope someone will come along and save you. They won’t. Or perhaps, you are trying to rescue someone else, trying to fix someone else. Why? You are hoping by doing that you might be loved in return, and again you are running away from the responsibility of taking care of yourself.

You get to decide what is and what is not success

In a virtual workshop recently, I reinforced that emotional freedom and self-empowerment originate in responsibility: You are responsible for your life. You are responsible for your thoughts and emotions. You are responsible for your outcomes. You cannot give away to anyone else the responsibility and ownership to your life.

You get to decide what is and what is not success. You get to choose what is and what is not meaningful. You get to eliminate the meaningless things in life, and to narrow your commitments.

Therefore, at the end of another year, take inventory. What are your core values and how are you living them out? Are your actions in alignment with your values? What is your definition of success?

Success for me is defined by my ability and capacity to influence others. No, not a social media influencer, but rather someone who can influence (impact, uplift, transform) other people via my writing, my workshops, individual sessions, my art, my words, my example every waking moment.

I will influence to help set people free from the past, I will influence people to challenge their own beliefs to give them greater clarity and reinforce their own values; I will influence people to enjoy the moment and their own freedom of expression; I will influence people to feel and experience intensity of positive emotions.

What do you care about? To what will you commit yourself?

If you or a friend need help to set yourself free from the past, from pain, abuse, hurts or disappointments, do what so many others have done: Resolve it rapidly and be set free of the pain by experiencing my SRTT process. Book a one-on-one session with me.

You can add to the conversation below.

I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

Patrick Wanis Ph.D. Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist

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