In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the 3 steps to becoming the best you!
First a quick update:
The Breakup Test
Are you heartbroken, angry, lost, lonely, confused, depressed, or pining over your ex? How would you like to benefit from personalized advice, action steps and revelations? Take my free breakup test and get your own personalized report.
Your Subconscious Beliefs About Worthiness & Relationships – Law Of Deservedness
Your life and relationships mirror your subconscious beliefs. What do you believe you are worth? Are you worthy of healthy relationships, of being heard, respected and appreciated? Do you need help to find your voice, to speak up, be heard and to feel that your opinion matters? Watch the video
Now, let’s talk about the 3 steps to becoming the best version of you!
What is your definition of love?
Perhaps you will respond with a long list of words – a description of love rather than a definition. While, I have written about the 6 forms of love, I offer this simple definition of love: ‘wanting the best for someone.’ Thus, when you choose to say to someone, “I love you”, are you actually intending, “I want the best for you”?
And when speaking of committing to a relationship, I encourage people to approach it from the perspective of ‘committing to helping your partner to become the best version of themselves.’
And what about you?
If you were to love yourself, would that not imply that you want the best for yourself, that you, too, commit to becoming the best version of yourself?
Recently, I was doing a session with comedian Andy Dick’s daughter, Meg, who is 23. Very quickly, a pattern emerged, and I explained to Meg that when you decide that it is your role to please everyone or to make everyone else around you happy, then you will never be able to be you, you will never be able to be authentic or true to yourself, and you will be confused about who you really are because you are constantly changing yourself to be what others expect of you, or, what you think they expect of or need from you.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
How do you become the best you?
“You don’t need to be better than anyone else; you just need to be better than you used to be.”
– Dr. Wayne Dyer
1. Defining Yourself
You can’t become your real self and best version of your real self, unless you first become clear about who you truly are.
What are your dreams?
If you had no fear and knew you could not fail, what would you do; who would you be? Where would you live? What is the one thing that you will regret at the end of your life if you don’t do it?
Values are your principles, standards, or qualities that you believe are worthwhile or desirable. What are the things in life that are most important to you?
What do you feel and believe gives your life value and meaning? What are your talents? Your purpose is your motivation to live. How do you positively contribute to other people’s lives? It could be just one person; it does not have to be everyone on the planet.
Your identity is the way you see and perceive yourself; it is your self-image. List the way you see yourself. List the things that clearly distinguish you or for which you recognize yourself – skills, gifts, talents, abilities, character, temperament, attitude, looks. Write a description of yourself. Your identity also involves your dreams, values, and purpose – even if you are not yet living and achieving them.
2. Becoming Yourself
From the above exercise, were you able to distinguish between the way you see yourself and the way you are living and the way you would like to live?
Combining your dreams, values, purpose, and the way you would like to be, write out a new identity.
What are your greatest fears? How do they hold you back? Remember, Just because everyone else is doing it, does not mean you have to do it.
Beliefs & Behaviors
What do you subconsciously believe about yourself and the world around you? Do you believe in your own capabilities? To determine your subconscious beliefs, review your current behavior, emotions and your results: how do you relate to others and to the world around you? For example, are you often exhibiting anger because you believe the world has wronged you or, are you hiding and isolating because you believe there is something wrong with you and you are not good enough or worthy? Are you surrounding yourself with people who do not want the best for you or feel threatened by you becoming the best version of yourself?
Your Greatest Obstacle
What is your greatest obstacle? Is it a fear or a habit or a belief? Is it the way you treat and judge yourself? Perhaps you are able to determine that you constantly compare, criticize or complain, or perhaps you are a people-pleaser, you seek other people’s approval or you find excuses to procrastinate or not participate, or you engage in some other self-sabotaging or self-destructive behavior.
“If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”
– Frank Zappa
3. Removing the blocks to becoming your best self
When you decide to remove the greatest obstacle to expressing your true self, then you will find it easier to live your dreams, passion and purpose. The key is not learn anything new, but rather to unlearn the things that have become the walls and obstacles to being your true self; to unlearn the negative programming and subconscious beliefs, and to release the painful emotions so that you can say, “I am back! I am me.”
If you would like help to identify and overcome your greatest obstacle to becoming the best version of yourself or to be set free from the past, to overcome pain or trauma, or to improve your relationships, book a one-on-one session with me.
You can add to the conversation below.
I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.