In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to explain why positivity isn’t enough for success.
First a quick update:
Thanks to actress Kirstie Alley for mentioning me on her website and for the celebrity links. We agree that as she said on Oprah, “a woman is much more than just her body.”
Now let’s talk about why positivity isn’t enough to guarantee your success.
This week, one of my new clients called me up distressed. Joe had recently completed a three-day seminar on personal development. He had invested over three thousand dollars to attend the seminar that he expected to be life-changing. Joe returned from the training program excited and positive about his new life. Joe made sure that he was acting positively but after three weeks passed, Joe became despondent. His life and results had not changed. His enthusiasm from the seminar had started to wane. He still had the same fears and the same issues he had prior to participating in the seminar. Joe still felt insecure, unable to speak up for himself and was still being controlled by his brother, jumping whenever his brother asked him to do so. Joe still had challenges with social anxiety, and often declined invitations to events and parties. He still also had financial challenges.
Can you guess what advice I gave to Joe? Did I tell him that he just needs to keep acting positively and everything will change, everything will be alright?
You will be surprised by my response.
I have many clients who have previously attended training programs and seminars by Peak Potentials, Landmark, Anthony Robbins, Abraham-Hicks, Success Academy, and other lesser known personal development companies. And yes, I believe that these are truly valuable and powerful programs that all have something to offer. I have even attended some of them myself and speak highly about them. But I also know that any and all of these programs are just the beginning to the process of transformation and success. In fact, one of my favorite programs sums it up well with, “Day five begins when you leave this camp; when you enter the real world.”
The mistake that most participants and people in general make is thinking that the only thing that is required to solve all problems and challenges in life is to act positively. It is true that your mindset and attitude are critical to your success. But your subconscious thoughts, beliefs and emotions create and mold your mindset and attitude. In other words, trying to act positively is usually motivated by will power and not necessarily by your deep hidden beliefs and emotions.
So here is what I told Joe, my client.
“Imagine you are stepping into the shower. You notice that the water doesn’t feel hot, so you turn up the hot water. Still there isn’t much of a difference; the water feels cool. You turn up the heat even more. It’s still not that hot. You turn up the heat all the way. Now you are becoming frustrated. Why won’t it get hotter? Oh, it hits you, and you turn off the cold water – all the way. Now the hot water is streaming all over you.
You see, Joe, the hot water is your positivity and the cold water is your negative beliefs. Your positivity and your negative beliefs are in conflict, and your negative beliefs which, are usually your dominant thoughts, always prevail. No matter how much you turn up the heat with positivity, you won’t feel or see the results until you turn off those cold negative beliefs! You have to remove those negative subconscious beliefs – whatever they might be.”
Another way to look at it is to think about the diseased tree. It produces diseased fruit. Any experienced gardener or horticulturalist will tell you that you have to remove the disease from the tree if you want healthy fruit. You can’t treat the fruit -the symptom, you have to treat the cause, the disease in the tree.
So, yes it is important to approach all challenges and problems with a positive outlook, (hope, solution-oriented, open possibilities, free of fear and doubt) but to be truly successful, you must have positive, supportive, empowering beliefs and emotions that are in alignment with your positivity. Affirmations are not enough. Why?
You affirm for 5 minutes a day positive things but you have 65,000 thoughts a day. How many of those thoughts and images do you think are the opposite to or neutralize your affirmation?
In other words, the key here is to identify your dominant thoughts for they reflect your deeper beliefs and they create your results.
Once you identify your dominant thought, you can begin to change it – the belief. Then, you will feel those warm, welcome results, that fresh healthy fruit.
As you move through your day, take intervals to stop and ask, “What am I thinking? What was I just visualizing? What am I feeling?” These will reveal your dominant thoughts.
Check out my Blog on my website to read my past Success Newsletters, post your comments and take a few exciting quizzes. If you have received this newsletter as a forward and would like to receive all of my newsletters please enter your email address on the home page.
I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & Clinical Hypnotherapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.