In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the significance of being authentic and speaking your truth – with compassion.
First a quick update:
The Breakup Test
Are you heartbroken, angry, lost, lonely, confused, depressed, hung up, or pining over your ex? Do you know how your ex is truly affecting you and do you want to benefit from personalize advice, action steps and revelations? Take my free breakup test and get your own personalized report.
Change Yourself First
I teach that if you want a happy, meaningful relationship with anyone, focus first on changing yourself – release old painful emotions and limiting subconscious beliefs. Read the DatingAdvice article about my techniques.
Dont Bring Up The Past In Your Present Relationship
Many people do it – they spend and waste too much time talking about the past and their ex instead of being with and enjoying the present relationship and new partner. Don’t infect the present with the past! Watch the video
Now, let’s talk about the significance of being authentic and speaking your truth – with compassion.
Are you authentic and real, or, do you hide under a mask?
One of our greatest fears is rejection.
We fear that the other person might not like or approve of us.
So, what do we do?
We do everything necessary to get his/her approval and acceptance.
We lie about who we are, what we think, and what we feel in our heart.
We shrink and become fake.
We put on a façade and we act or pretend to be something or someone we are not.
If you do this, then you end up feeling awful about yourself. It is also extremely exhausting holding the mask, maintaining the facade, and being a ‘character’ trying to live up to other people’s expectations of you.
We all want the same thing – to be loved for who we really are.
But, how can anyone love you or be your friend when you aren’t being real?
How can anyone love you or be your friend when you aren’t being honest or truthful?
When you choose to hold back your truth, you are motivated by guilt, fear, shame, or a host of other negative emotions. You also push people away, and you can never truly love or be loved because you are being something that other people want you to be or you are hiding and isolating.
Now think of the people you admire – you heroes and idols.
Who are they?
Just briefly list their top qualities.
I can guarantee without reading your list that one thing all of the people you admire have in common: they are real.
Being real means being authentic – honest, truthful, and expressing oneself freely.
What are you holding back?
Is there someone to whom you want or need to speak your truth?
Here are the 4 tips to speak your truth – with compassion:
1. Identify your truth
Choose one thing that you want to say to one person; it might be a confession of love and admiration or it might be a confession about something they have done and its consequences for you.
2. Rehearse the delivery
Rehearse in your mind what you will say (write it out, speak it in front of a mirror.)
3. Conquer the fear
Before you say it, write out right now what you are afraid of. What is your fear? Perhaps you fear it will end the relationship or the other person won’t respond the way you want. Either way, stop and consider how it affects you by hiding and holding your truth inside of you.
4. Deliver it – with compassion
Say it, write it, email it, videoblog it but do it from your heart – WITH COMPASSION – particularly if it is a message of truth that is critical or challenging for the other person to hear or receive.
Finally, remember the famous phrase “And the truth shall set you free!” When you speak your truth from your heart, you will set yourself free – you will gain confidence and feel light and strong. All you need to do is speak your truth with compassion – and then let it go – let go of expectation of the outcome or response.
If you want to learn more about how to do that, read my article “Speak Your Truth”
If you need personal help to overcome the blocks to being authentic and speaking your truth, book a one-on-one session with me.
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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.