In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the significance of saying thank you instead of sorry and the way that it changes & improves your own self-image.
First a quick update:
“20 Ways To Spot Unsafe People”
Can you tell who is safe and who is not safe for you? Can you tell who will be supportive, uplifting, complementary, and help you to grow in a relationship? Can you tell who to trust and form a connection & bond with and whom to avoid? Read my list of the top 20 signs, the top 20 ways to spot an unsafe person – someone who treats you well one day (or minute) and is hurtful to you the next.
“3 Tips to conquer fear of speaking up”
There is something you want to say to someone particular but you’ve said nothing. Why? You’re too afraid to do it. Here are 3 simple steps and tips to overcome your fear of speaking up for yourself. Watch the video!
Now, let’s talk about the significance of saying thank you instead of sorry and the way that it changes & improves your own self-image.
When we believe that someone has done wrong to us, we automatically expect an apology; we hope to hear the words, “I am sorry.”
Those 3 words are powerful because when used in the right context and with sincerity, they communicate that the person who wronged us is aware that:
- They hurt us or slighted u
- They accept responsibility for their actions
- They prize the relationship and want to heal it
At the same time, when we believe that we have done something or given something of ourselves to someone, we equally expect to hear the words, “Thank you.”
Those 2 words are powerful because when used in the right context and with sincerity, they communicate that the person who received something from us (tangible or intangible – time, gift, compliment, moral support, etc.):
- Acknowledges that we did something significant
- Appreciates what we did
- Acknowledges & appreciates us and the relationship as significant
Thus, it is obvious that we use the words, “I am sorry” when we have wronged someone, and we use the words, “Thank you” when someone has done something good for us and we wish to acknowledge it and him/her.
Accordingly, why do we use both those phrases at the wrong time?
For example, you recognize you are running late for an appointment with a friend, do you say “Sorry, I am always late” or do you say “Thank you for your patience”?
What is the difference between these 2 phrases in this context?
Yes, when you say “Sorry, I am late”, you are acknowledging your responsibility. However, when you say, “Thank you for your patience”, you are acknowledging the other person’s actions and actually indirectly encouraging them to express patience.
When we constantly and consistently say, “I am sorry” in the wrong context, we are highlighting our errors, flaws and failings. Further, the more we do this, the more we subconsciously reinforce these behaviors as habits and an integral part of our self-image. (The right context to say “I am sorry” is…)
Consider these examples by artist Yao Xiao who illustrates various situations where we criticize and demean ourselves in front of others by saying “I am sorry” when we could be expressing gratitude and acknowledgment for the other person’s positive treatment of us. Notice how much more confident you feel when you do this, when you say, “Thank you” instead of “I’m sorry.”
You can purchase this comic “If you want to say thank you, don’t say I am sorry” by Yao Xiao here
Remember, stop criticizing yourself and stop reinforcing bad habits and flaws – stop saying “I am sorry” when you could instead be saying thank you to the other person for the way they are respecting, supporting and helping you.
If you need assistance to raise your self-esteem and self-image and to stop being a perfectionist, book a one-on-one session with me.
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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
www.patrickwanis.com
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.