What a guy’s bad habit says about him

What a guy's bad habit says about him

What a guy’s bad habit says about him

A human-behavior expert decodes the meaning behind 10 frustrating male actions, from leaving the toilet seat up to consulting his mother for every decision.

Read the article by Natasha Burton on MSN.com and quoting Human Behavior Expert Patrick Wanis PhD: https://glo.msn.com/relationships/what-his-bad-habit-says-about-him-6408.gallery?gt1=49006

Here are the two most controversial habits mentioned in the article “What a guy’s bad habit says about him”:

Always Calling Mom
A man who has to call his mother in order to make a decision “hasn’t found his own independence or identity,” Wanis says. This bad habit is problematic if you’d like to create a lasting union with this man. “He won’t be able to be there for you when you really need him,” Wanis says. “He won’t turn to you for his support system, because his mother is his support system. He’s still seeking Mummy’s approval.”

Leaving the Seat Up
When men do this, Wanis says, “they’re too interested in being right rather than being happy.” Wanis maintains that guys shouldn’t look at the act of putting the seat down as a loss of manhood because sometimes the toilet seat can be the sign of a power struggle. “Little things like this can reflect larger, deeper problems in the relationship,” he says.

Read the full article here: https://glo.msn.com/relationships/what-his-bad-habit-says-about-him-6408.gallery?gt1=49006

Also read Patrick Wanis’ article/newsletter “The toilet seat – up or down?” 

Facebook Comments
69 replies
  1. Avatar
    Kathy says:

    this site wouldn’t let me leave the same message in 2 places but…
    Well, I am rolling around laughing!! Where are the real men here in this blog? All I see is little boys whining because their fragile egos have been bruised!!I guess their egos are bigger than their brains and much bigger than their p…..s. Wow!! Talk about wimpy men. We all know bad habits are bad habits no matter guy or gal but seriously boys, grow some balls! Now maybe you men get it why there are so many lesbians and why we turn to women. You’re not men! Where are the real men who don’t whine, complain or cry like little 2 yr olds? I am guessing that these cry babies run to mommy for every little thing…i’d never depend or turn to any of the men on this blog for protection. i’d get better from a butch lesbian!!!…jus sayin…

  2. Avatar
    Kathy says:

    Well, I am rolling around laughing!! Where are the real men here in this blog? All I see is little boys whining because their fragile egos have been bruised!!I guess their egos are bigger than their brains and much bigger than their p…..s. Wow!! Talk about wimpy men. We all know bad habits are bad habits no matter guy or gal but seriously boys, grow some balls! Now maybe you men get it why there are so many lesbians and why we turn to women. You’re not men! Where are the real men who don’t whine, complain or cry like little 2 yr olds? I am guessing that these cry babies run to mommy for every little thing…i’d never depend or turn to any of the men on this blog for protection. i’d get better from a butch lesbian!!!…jus sayin…

  3. Avatar
    Angry One says:

    No, I wont read your article, as by doing this you artficially pump up the hit counter on your website and the article itself, especially when I can already guess you are using some sort of bad phallic symbology as the source of your article. Symbology only works when everyone believes it. The fact is simple – you have created a media niche and are using it to continue to fund your bogus science. You are a perfect example of the degradation of society. You aren’t an expert and I hesitate to call you doctor. I will waste no more time on you.

  4. Avatar
    Michael says:

    Dear Patricia or I mean Patrick

    I would like to tell you that you get paid to much to look into things way to much. I wrote all of this once but I guess because I cussed in it your site won’t post it. How many women have you actually been out with in your life. For one thing I am a construction worker and I know I cuss a lot, however I also know many women who make me sound like an angel. For another thing most of these habbits come out of 2 factors. 1 the guy is just lazy and 2 the guy really doesn’t care what the woman thinks. Or combination of both. Now coming from a guy who does open doors for ladies. For the most part the only women who even notice are the elderly women. Many women now days don’t like a guy who is nice to them. You like your phrases from what I have been reading. Well have you heard this one “Nice guys finish last”. Well that applies to getting a woman also I know this from experince also. And crushing cans well I crush them because in saves space in the recycling bin. Which is what you are supposed to do. As far as ice goes I don’t use ice so I don’t know, but I have always heard that chewing ice which again many women do, means that you are sexually deprived. So maybe people use it as a singal to their mate is stead of this macho BS you right of. The loud eatting again many women do this and it is a major turn off for me. Would you like to know why. Because when I was a kid my dad always yelled at us kids for doing it, so I learned not to at a very early age. The other reason is I don’t need to see the food in my dates mouth while she is chewing it. So again your whole macho reasoning is blown out of the water because I was raised by the machoest of macho that right the US Military. My father was a lifer. The picking your nose thing. Here’s a study for you it was on a radio show once. And when I heard it I started looking when driving as your are passing cars or vise versa 1 in I forget think 10 people will be picking their nose and it is true. It does not seperate men from women. Everyone in the world does it. Bitting nails many woman do this also. Actually I think I know more women who do it more than guys. Procrastinating is also both sexs and I think has more to do with your up bringing and also what you are procasting has to do with. Everyone runs into something in there life that they don’t want to do for whatever reason. Leaving the dishes, again many women do it also thats why the dishwasher was invited. Now I started one for women for you on my FB page. The first is I find it annoying when a women always wants the light off or dimmed very low during sex. The second I find it annoying how women always lie by wearing make up, push up bras, padded bras etc;. The third I find it annoying when the are busy watching these stupid reality shows then have the nerve to say they don’t have time to workout in their day. Fourth I find it annoying to have to see their tampon/pad and dusche commercials on TV. Fifth I find it annoying that they use their period for an excuse to be a complete B****. I will let you do your supposed research for the rest.

  5. Avatar
    Andrew says:

    When I read this short article I immediately thought of my significant other. And yes she is a female. These things always lead to fights when she doesn’t seem to get and understand that she does these thing and worse that make me have to leave a room to calm down from her doing what she complains about.

    1) She always has to call her mother to complain about everything and twists what happened to favor what she thinks happened. It strains the relationship between “in-laws” and the man in the relationship.

    2) Don’t even get me started on dishes. She likes to make something and eat half of it. Guess where the other part goes? The plate goes onto the counter and sits. I come home and rinse off her dishes and put them in the sink and before I get a chance to put them into the dishwasher I was emptying she says, “why can’t you just put them into the dishwasher after you are done with them?” “And why don’t you ever do the dishes?” OMG that kills me! What does that mean about a female?

    3)Opening doors for her is what I always do but for some reason when I have my hands full and want to get into the apartment it is apparently a big deal to get up off the couch to let me in.

    4) Picking her nose is another thing I think she does and not knowing it. And putting the palm of her hand on the end of her nose and rubbing her nose in a circular motion and I can hear snot squishing around in her nose! OMG AGAIN!

    5)I just recently started cussing towards her because she seems to think it is ok to do to me, which seems childish I know but it makes me feel better to let her know what she does isn’t ok or good manners.

    6) She also goes to school and waits to the last minute to do her homework online…30 minutes before it has to be submitted through her online portal when she had all day and possibly most of the week on some assignments.

    7) And my greatest irritant is slurping!!!!! She likes to slurp up pop out of the can like it is going to run away! Every “SIP” I hear her vacuum lips start sucking a mile away from the can! Same with cereal and many other things that may need mind numbing slurping!!

    8) She also refuses to rinse down her hair after she is done brushing it at the sink. I would rather have her clean it out and put it in the trash or better yet flush it, because no guest needs to see a nasty hair ball in the trash! I have left a friends house for that very same thing.

    So all in all what does this say about the women and the apparent need to project negative comments about some guy habits that the themselves do at a more troubling level? The only thing out of all this list of bad habits that I do is sometimes leave the toilet seat open and cuss when she does. If you could please open up the discussion for a real discussion and let us know what it means when women do the same things only worse.

    Thank you,

  6. Avatar
    JMX says:

    Very good. No doubt, it could apply to both sexes, but from a guy’s perspective, it goes into the psyche of men. I too have some of these bad habits, and honestly, the reasoning behind them is completely true. I also can admit this, and not deny the truth like everyone else seems to. Anyways, nice job. Great article.

  7. Avatar
    Michael says:

    I think your article is full of shit. I think you suppsed doctors get paid to much to look in to stuff to much. Here are the many causes of these habbits. The man is either lazy or just plain out doesn’t give a fuck about the women thinks. Did that ever run through you head. And I know many women who do these things you speak of more than men. I don’t use ice because I work outside doing physical and mental labor so I am use to warm drinks. And as far as crushing cans I do it but it is because it saves space in the recycling bin. I guess you never though of that either. And many women don’t like to have doors opened for them. The most of them that even notice or care are elderly women. I know this because I open doors for women. How about doing this for women I have already started it for you on my FB page. My name is Michael Koston there are only two people with my name including me. Mine has a picture of Pittsburgh with the Steeler Emblem in the moon. You will have to friend request me though.

  8. Avatar
    Michael says:

    The issue of not opening doors is interesting but I fear that Mr. Wanis fails on this. With the beginning of the “Womens Movement” certain actions of men became verboten. One was – and for many women – and still is opening and holding a door. On more than one occasion I’ve been berated by women by opening or holding open a door. To them my gesture implied I felt they were not my equal. Women may want to have it both ways but many men are often whipsawed by women. On other occasions I’ve offered to pay for dinner but again I was berated. It seems that in some instances men can’t satisfy a woman.

  9. Avatar
    Frank Savage says:

    In regards to the toilet seat issue. I put both the seat and the lid back down. I grew up in a home with a number of females, all of whom thought they should never have to touch the toilet seat, but expected men to raise it before and then lower it after using the facilities.

    Personally, I think what’s good for the gander is also good for the goose. If men are expected to manipulate the seat before using the toilet, women should not complain about having to put the seat down. Women expect men to help with the dishes and other household chores but also expect their men to perform outside, dirty, strenuous, uncomfortable chores without the females offering to help.

    Ladies, you want it both ways and that isn’t fair.

  10. Avatar
    jASPER says:

    I agree with most posted here, this article is just garbage. Patrick Wanis must be a male-feminist. Men are not perfect but neither are women. We are all just human. To use a quote, Patrick: “Grow a pair” and stop pandering to the feminists.

    By the way, everybody: LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP. It’s a sign of courtesy from the woman to the man.

  11. Avatar
    Doc Holiday says:

    Ahahahahah! This is TOTALLY what women need to hear. It’s completely subjective to every individual…It’s like saying guys who need an alarm clock are probably lazy and they won’t be on time for your dates. And guys who contact you within 24 hours of reciving your phone number are obsessive and have stalker tendencies….and guys who doodle while talking on the phone don’t really care what you have to say….and guys who leave the light on, think it’s macho and just want to waste electricity to prove that they can…these guys will suck financially. haha. Totaly BS if you ask me. Sure there’s a percentage of guys in the world that have issues based on these traits..but for most, it’s just habbit…simple as that.

    I leave the dishes on the counter and forget about them every day. NOT because I’m inconsiderate and NOT because I procrastinate….it’s because I have too much other, more important sh*t to get done…seems to happen when you have a family, a life, and a 16 hr/day job. There just isn’t much time. I do dishes on the weekend when I have more free time. For me, it’s a priority issue, dishes just aren’t important when I could be making money and my wife understands that. Being inconsiderate is knowing that something is a problem and just not caring or doing anything to help.

    I absolutely HATE when people take subtleties and make assumptions based on thier own experience. It’s foolish. We’re not machines, we’re not all built alike. We all have a mind of our own and have our own valid reasons for doing what you do. Now people are going to run around and make blind decisions, because a “human expert (more like human excrement)” says this is what he’s doing really means….That’s NOT the way to approach a relationship….you need to TALK to someone and compromise a solution. Ask them why they do what they do, not the internet…and if they don’t know why they do it, figure it out together…don’t blindly follow the lead of someone else. There could literally be 1,000’s of reasons why someone doesn’t do the dishes, or why he thinks it okay to pick his nose.

    This kind of article is a hollywood joke just to get people wound up so that the make stupid responses like the one I was suckered into writing. Nobody who wrote this article actually believes it’s true or they wouldn’t have a job. It’s just a decoy…just junk. I don’t have a PhD and I can see right through this…..Whoever wrote this must leave the seat up, becuase he probably thinks he is right. This article is making bold, stereotypical statements about a human race he knows very little about. I’d like to see the research that went on behind the scenes and if it is replicatable.

    I love it!

  12. Avatar
    Augustus says:

    That had to be one of the most useless articles ever written. The majority of those “bad” habits are shared by men and women alike and are only offensive to overly-refined, in other words those who think their poop doesn’t stink. All of the breakdowns given by this so-called “expert” are completely generalized,false and, quite frankly, idiotic. “Crunching ice is a sign of a man trying to be macho.” ??? PLease! Countless women have the same habit, which can really only be considered bad because of it’s effect on your teeth. None of these habits are indicative of the things this fool Wanis has suggested. What’s next… “A man who eats with his elbows on the table is a communist.” Maybe some people are just too capable of thinking for themselves to believe in archaic gender roles, or worry about arbitrary social etiquette standards.

  13. Avatar
    Gretna Cigar says:

    I did read the article and this is why I wrote what I did. Your article is about bad habits “of men”, not “of people”. If you want to stop the ugly comments, make it appear the sexes are equal, not one superior to the other. I noticed you had no comment on some of the bad habits unique to women that I mentioned above. The comments about losing your manhood are ncalled for and juvenile. Are women afraid that negative comments about them will make them lose their right to be a woman? Are you afraid of females?

  14. Avatar
    Josh says:

    Are you kidding me? This article is a perfect example of the pointless drivel that every Hollywood-saturated magazine feeds women. The same could be said for the tesosterone-saturated magazines that cater to the stereotypical American man. This “analysis” of how men work is really just a sensationalized attempt at sociology. Obviously MSN is pure fodder, but I did read your article too, and I still disagree…

    I’m not out to personally attack you Patrick, or defend my manhood for that matter. But I bite my nails, pick my nose, and leave dishes out…habitually. And there isn’t really an underlying psychological motivation behind any of those. I bite my nails when I’m working hard, not because of nervousness, apprehension, or insecurity, but because of the same reason I constantly tap out drum beats or write melodies. I pick my nose because I have a lot of boogers, and Kleenex rarely does the job…gross? Sorry! I leave dishes in the sink because I have a million other more pressing issues, and I’ve concluded dishwashing is one of those monotonous chores that could be done every day, if you so choose. It’s a matter of priority. If I spent my life trying to correct every one of my habitual so-called faux paus, then I’ve become nothing more than a complacent socialite who worries about stupid things that don’t even matter. There will always be cultural norms, buts human will always be animalistic to some degree.

  15. Avatar
    Srdjan Gajic says:

    Dear Mr Wanis,
    The “10 habbits” article on MSN is quite interessting one, but not so accurate, I might say. But, in general, I agree with you. Those mail behaviors might be an answer to female agressiveness and wrong signals they are sending to us. This might be a protest. Who knows!
    But, would you be so kind and write an article about female 10 bad habbits. Especially when they are sending wrong signals to us (connected with unneccessary nudity in public: long cleveages, mini dresses …). And why males are totaly confused about this signals, and about of lack of sincere conversation between sexes.

    Srdjan Gajic (male),
    Serbia, Europe

  16. Avatar
    Charles says:

    I can appreciate the entertianment value you must keep to keep your relationship with your readers but if you must tackle such a broad subject matter, address it professionally.

    Your writings have always exhibited that middle school mentality. If the subject is something you truly believe in, write with conviction and a style that reflects your education.

  17. Avatar
    Lady Di says:

    1. There have been times when my partner and I need someone from the outside opinion More important I trust his mother and do not feel I have to compete with her she is his mother and I am his wife. Seriously if this is kept in mind there should be no problem. I would refer him to his mother because she has both our best interest at heart. If a woman is having an issue with her companion seeking his mother’s advice maybe she should look at herself to see what is really going????

    2. I leave dirty dishes in the sink myself; I’m confused on how you came up with these foolish reasons concerning what is wrong with someone who does this???? either I wash them later or my companion does

    3. Leaving the toilet seat up for real are we still debating this foolishness!!! If he doesn’t put it down SO WHAT, unless you have a nasty dirty toilet seat that you are scare to touch, (in which case you should seriously consider cleaning it or if necessary ask him to) lower it when you have to use it. and don’t raise it when you’re done then he has to raise it before he can use it

    4. Finally something we can agree upon yes a man should at all times show his manners and opening a door for a female is one of them.

    5. Okay this goes back to number four picking or blowing your nose in front of company is NOT GOOD MANNERS!!!

    6. I’m not sure about this nail biting thing I have never encountered a male who does, thank goodness I probably wouldn’t be able to stop laughing it seems like such a girl thing to do

    7. Maybe but I do have a tendency to believe they do understand the power of words these same men work, have contact with strangers, some have children and attend church I don’t think they would use this offense language when in these situations.

    8. WOW don’t know what to say to this, I’m the one who does the procrastinating however when it’s time to take care of whatever the issue I do however it has nothing to do with being lazy it has to do with in this day and age a lot of multitasking is required of all adults sometimes its easy to put some things on the back burner until later

    9. SORRY, I’m the ice cruncher

    10. I’m starting to get pissed off with these assessments!!!!! I am the loud eater and it’s because I believe if you are eating a good meal you should be able to show your enjoyment by making noise if you want, of course this doesn’t mean being obnoxious with it.

  18. Avatar
    R Sanchez says:

    Someone hit it right on the nail in stating that this article says the things that women want to hear. The bad habits in the article apply to both men and women such as picking the nose, cussing, not washing the dishes after themselves. I’ll grant that men will leave the toilet seat up but it’s not because of a power struggle, it’s because of laziness just like women leave the driver’s seat closer to the steering wheel when they exit leaving a man to struggle to get in. How about an article that points out the bad habits of some women?

  19. Avatar
    The1TrueWhisper says:

    Mr Wanis.
    For now I have to refrain from using the title of Doctor..Just until we determine if you really believe the(seemingly)caffeine induced mis info you’ve splashed these beautiful people with..First of all!!!Arent the readers more important now than ever? Shouldnt we be giving them the truth. Everyone will find that my intent here is precisely that.Truth is only less common these days. It hasnt gone or expired.
    It is however being assaulted in every corner of our society. You can turn your head in almost any direction these days and see a “Doc” with the end all answers to every question. Still tomorrow a whole new crop with their own augmentations and additions to the (now stretched)truth. Im still trying to figure out if you have written this as some sort of stunt. Are you planning to claim that you wrote it to motivate people? If thats the case Id like to have the last 10 minutes of my time back.haha. To demonstrate the truth,Heres one. You really have motivated a few people.Simple truth? No its a little complicated. Ya see Doctor !! You motivated the women to tell you one thing. You were wrong. Thats ok.
    Sometimes people have to receive a little mis-information to MOTIVATE them to seek THE TRUTH.It is out there and I know you will all go find it. Doc(see Ive called ya that twice now) I just have one more thing for you before I go. Given the fact that some guys are slobs and tend to spray all over the toilet at night,,Dont you think the Woman would rather the porcelin get showered than the seat????hahaha Ty for taking the time to read this folks. My apologies for any spelling or punctuation errors. I am very pleased to see Women stand up for their Men.Ty Ladies. Keep straightening our friend here out. We may disagree with him but hes still a good person and we need all those we can get.
    I care for all of you reading this so very much. If you like the truth and/or music then stay tuned folks. Much more to come from me in the coming weeks/months. I dont blog alot but I like to make it simple polite truth when I do. Sincere wishes and respect to everyone and to you Mr Patrick Wanis for being a good sport. Again ty for reading everyone. Take care and be healthy happy people…………Whisper

  20. Avatar
    Gretna Cigar says:

    We all have to stop the man-bashing. Everyone has their own bad habits – EVERYONE. Please publish the same article about women. They always leave the one toilet seat down, hygiene items in view in the waste basket, cuss like a drunken sailor, bite their nails, spray hairspray all over your toothbrush, always let you do the dishes after you cook, want things done on their schedule and not yours, etc., etc.

  21. Avatar
    Angry One says:


    You engage in the WORST sort of generalization here. It is exactly this sort of crap that further widens the gap between the sexes, and actually makes it harder for the two to understand one another. With ridiculous inferences like “Leaving the seat up is a sign of male power” to “Men who have foul mouths ‘don’t understand the power of words,'” to “Not opening doors is not thoughtful”? Why is it a guys responsibility to do these things? Why cant women learn or be taught to be romantic, why cant women learn or be taight to put the seat UP when they are done, why cant learn or be taught to open the door for the guy? I know more women with truck-driver mouth than I do men!

    The sexual revolution has been going on for decades now, and yet, no matter what its men who get the crap end of the stick! How about women stand up and take responsibility for their side of the road?

  22. Avatar
    D Zast says:

    Patrick Wanis has a lot in common with other “Human Behavior Experts”.

    Phillip Zimbardo also hosted beauty pagents before conducting his Stanford Prison Study.

  23. Avatar
    Pete says:

    Really now, everyone picks their nose. Show me a person (man or woman) who doesn’t occasionally pick their nose, and I show you a person with some issues to deal with. And men, having hairier noses, have to pick more often. There are many times blowing into a tissue just won’t get the job done.
    I will give you one thing. There are right and wrong situations for “gold digging”. For instance, it’s probably not a good idea to pick during a TV interview, or giving a public speech. And it is more polite to wash one’s hands in between picking and handshakes.

    PS: On a different note… Why can’t women leave the seat UP for men?

  24. Avatar
    KJ says:

    In your part of the article about leaving dishes, you are quoted about the behaviour being “slapstick”, which is a type of physical comedy, as in slipping on a banana peel {the word comes from the foley artist “instrument”, made of two flat pieces of wood, that mimics the sound of one person hitting another on a soundtrack}. I think the word you (or the writer) were looking for is slapdash, as in haphazard, slipshod.

    Now, shouldn’t every PhD &/or writer own a dictionary, or have access to one on the web?

  25. Avatar
    Jim says:

    I almost laughed when I read your article. Is this what you have to pen to impress women? You obviously don’t have the right equipment needed to stand when you pee. In reading your remarks to those that post here, you can’t even defend yourself. Get out in the real world and meet real people instead of those plastic celebrities before you condem actions of real men.

  26. Avatar
    Kate says:

    Guess you pushed some buttons. Maybe next time you should write about a woman’s bad habits, although of course we don’t have any. The whole issue of the toilet seat is bogus. If he always has to put it up, then is it her bad habit to leave it down? When we argue about little things like crunching ice and the angle of toilet seats we lose sight of what’s important in our lives. We’re probably arguing about something else entirely without mentioning it. Call your mom in moderation and remember to make your partner as important as mom. Your partner is the one who sleeps in your bed and can make your life heaven or hell.

  27. Avatar
    Kelly says:

    What a load of crap. Any of these traits applied to women should result in the smae finger wagging. If it’s a “power struggle” for a man to leave the seat up, is it not the same power struggle for a woman to want it down? Man bashing is far to prevalant in society, how about we work on fixing people instead of “men”!

  28. Avatar
    Guy says:

    I have to completely disagree with this Mr.Wanis In short he’s retarded I’d say most guys have no underlying motive to not doing dishes, procrastinating or not opening doors (which i do by the way)

    I think a person is a person and this is just another one of those stupid company paid “Doctors” who tell the whole world their “amazing and deep” findings.

    My findings indicate this guy is full of himself…

  29. Avatar
    Trevello D says:

    Seems Like Patty boy is the head case. People like this are more damaged than your average bum. Talk about self-absorbed. This guy probably has servants to wipe his can. The real question is “what made you lose your manhood?” Seems to me you are more like a woman. People that buy in to stuff like this only make Pat more money.

  30. Avatar
    Martin says:


    Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. What does it mean when a woman wants to know what deep flaw is indicated each annoying man behavior she wants to overreact to? It means she better like cats!

  31. Avatar
    Sal says:


    Regarding “meaning behind 10 frustrating male actions”:

    What scientific evidence do you have to support these conclusions, or is it just your personal opinion from experience?

    It seems that you have a PHD in something, if it is Science based, then you should know about the scientific method in coming up with a conclusion. Please post your scientific references, if you do not have any references or studies to prove these posts, then you should not be posting them as a PHD expert.


  32. Avatar
    James T Sparks says:

    You are a wimp. What the big deal leaving the seat up. The women is lazy to put it down. Chewing ice. It feel good. Yes little boy should not call mommy for everyting. A man don’t know how to be man today. It seem that women can do anything but when something goes wrong, it always the man fault.

  33. Avatar
    Randall Smith says:

    Dr. Wanis
    I hope all these good people have shown you how wrong you are for pointing out that these are falicies of men alone. I know plenty of women who endulge in all of these bad habits on an annoyingly consistent basis and I find it very offensive that you suggest that these are habits of men alone.
    As far as the toilet seat deal…why is it never said that women always leave the seat down? I have never understood why it is considered to be wrong to leave the seat up. Just sayin’…
    Randall Smith

    • Avatar
      Patrick Wanis says:

      Dear Randall,

      What I said to be the underlying motivation behind each of the bad habits generally also applies to both men and women. In other words, what I wrote about procrastination applies to men and women; someone who always calls mom before making a decision would still fall under the category of “seeking mommy’s approval” and not having their own identity. So, yes, Randall I agree with you.
      All the best,

  34. Avatar
    On cussing says:

    You sincerely believe that men cuss more than women? Are you for real? People in general, both men and women, are very liberal with their cussing in today’s society. It’s not a thing that men are more likely to do and vice versa.

    To give a personal example, I detest cussing–the hardest language I ever use is “damn” once in a while. My girlfriend, meanwhile, can go on saying “Fornication Under Consent of the King” (if you catch my drift) for several minutes at a time.

    • Avatar
      Patrick Wanis says:

      Dear On Cussing,

      Do you recall the phrase and expression “to cuss like a sailor”?

      Research into swearing practices in the United States suggests that “men generally curse more than women, unless said women are in a sorority, and that university provosts swear more than librarians or the staff members of the university day care center”. – Angier, Natalie (25 September 2005), “Cursing is a normal function of human language, experts say”, New York Times.

      All the best,

  35. Avatar
    Patrick Wanis says:

    Dear Jack,

    it comes down to the simple fact that women don’t like to touch the toilet seat and women will complain that if they are going to the toilet in the middle of the night, while half asleep, they sometimes inadvertently sit on the bowl of the toilet and then complain about it being dirty and cold.

    Smart guys know which battles to fight and which ones to let go…

    And people who have successful marriages also know what to say: https://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2009/05/20/the-twelve-most-important-words-you-will-speak/

    Also, couples who have been happily married for 40 and 50 years always say that they pick their battles! Being right does not equal being happy. I like to ask myself “how important is this matter/issue?”

    All the best,

  36. Avatar
    Jack whitehead says:

    Why is it, that a man is knocked for leaving a toilet seat up(I agree it is tacky and shows a bit of laziness) but why then is it alright for a woman to leave the lid up.
    Which I also consider to be just as tacky.

  37. Avatar
    Lynne says:

    LOL. My 12 year old son thinks farts are hilarious. I would like farts to be in the MAN CAVE since we have one. My husband thinks because it’s natural to have gas (OK, that is part of it) it should be ok. Diarrhea is a natural function of the body too, as is vomiting and a woman’s period. No need to share those.
    I suppose it is funny – I think it’s funny that the men folk belch and fart and find each other so manly while they rebuild an old chevy. I guess I don’t get that bonding thing, and they don’t get why women don’t bond with their bodily functions.
    You don’t look much like a farting type of guy. Perhaps my husband is just a throw-back from the neanderthal age.

  38. Avatar
    Dexter says:

    I’d encourage the doctor to look up the definition of the word ‘misandry’ and come to terms with the feminist he truly is. Just sayin. 🙂

    • Avatar
      Patrick Wanis says:

      Dear Dexter,

      thanks for “just sayin” and yes, I know what misandry is. I did not choose the bad habits – a woman did – the author – I simply responded to the habits listed and yes, I stand by my primary contention that in a relationship men could be more thoughtful and considerate. I am guessing that the female author chose them because that is what most women complain about.
      Did you also read my comments in the article:
      “I don’t believe a guy should change every habit he has to appease a woman, because then he’s no longer going to be a guy.”

      Finally, since you feel I hate men – read my articles – particularly the one about women betraying women “Cheating – are women innocent” https://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/08/04/cheating-are-women-innocent/
      and: “Women are taking over” and my strong point about how in the media “men are being portrayed as buffoons, simpletons and weak, helpless idiots who cannot survive without the wife who now is smarter, more grounded and the boss.” https://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/09/22/women-are-taking-over/

      After you read that you will be confused as will many other readers. In other words, I am not a misogynist or a misandrist; I simply state what I feel and believe is right and wrong.
      All the best,

  39. Avatar
    Lynne says:

    In your article “What His Bad Habit Says About Him” your forgot three of the most annoying and gross things: FARTING BELCHING and EVERYTHING HAS TO DO WITH SEX. Lets be real here – crunching ice? I would love crunching ice – I can live wth that – but big old nasty juicy farts – no way. Biting his nails? Is this a problem somewhere that ‘adjusting’ might be more acceptable? I think you missed a few major items that men, too many men, do regularly. Let me tell you – nothing, and I mean NOTHING ruins a good roll in the hay like a nice fart.

    • Avatar
      Patrick Wanis says:

      Dear Lynne,

      the author of the article chose the ten habits and asked me to respond to them.
      I do extend my sympathies to you that you have to experience “big old nasty juicy farts”!!
      I want to be respectful and not laugh but it sure does sound funny. May I suggest you find him some digestive enzymes – that might prevent the undigested food and the gas!
      All the best,

  40. Avatar
    christopher says:

    i take exception as to men leaving the toilet seat up. if we men can put the seat up, the women folks can put it down. ladies are not half wits. they can figure this out.

  41. Avatar
    billl ruck says:

    The concept is entirely ridiculous. It has nothing to do with the active thought process unless you intend it to be that. Using the toilet is simply using the toilet. It cannot be viewed as a vie for power, and should not be used as a profiling tool.

    • Avatar
      Patrick Wanis says:

      Dear Bill,

      I agree that obviously not in every situation is it about a power struggle when a man does not put down the toilet seat. I does speak about not being considerate of the other person. Would you leave the toilet seat up when your elderly grandmother is about to use the toilet after you?

      However, for some people it is about power. Trev wrote to me via the contact page but did not post here the following:

      “A man not putting down a toilet seat is more of an overblown cliche, than anything else. Men who don’t put the toilet seat down usually just forget b/c it is not part of the process of going no. 1. Also, the idea that a woman will fall in, lacks logic. Do women sit on filthy toilet seats without looking? NO! I’m not sure if you squat, hover, or sit when you urinate, or what brand name purse your wife carries your balls in, but you seem like nothing more than an LA weirdo who has too many degrees.”
      Trev supported my contention that failing to put the seat down can be about power since he thinks that if I put the seat down, my “wife carries” my balls in a purse.

      Since this discussion has become about “real men” I will add that “real men” don’t fear that they lose their balls if they lack ego and therefore can be sufficiently considerate to put the seat down.

      And William wrote:
      “Patrick you must be in the closet. Only a gay man would say the things you do about men. You make putting the toilet seat up as an international act of immorality. Please keep your right wing bigoted view points to yourself as you are not a true representation of manhood.”

      I am saying to just put the seat down and be happy! It’s not an act of immorality either way – it’s common courtesy. And again, please read my closing quote in the article:
      “I don’t believe a guy should change every habit he has to appease a woman, because then he’s no longer going to be a guy.”

      All the best,

  42. Avatar
    chrissy says:

    Personally doc, I think you need to go back to school. I can go down the list and tell you how wrong you are on so many levels. Men call their moms because they will always have that special bond. Coming from a very large family, it’s that simple. I have 3 boys, 4 brothers, and 6 uncles (my mom’s side alone). My husband has constant contact with his mom; and trust me, he’s always there for me.

    Next one – Some men leave dirty dishes in the sink just because. Did you ever think they’re the one’s that may do the dishes also. My husband rinses the dishes. I have to laugh, I’d rather he’d just wash them. I’ve had two back surgeries and don’t have a dishwasher.

    My husband leaves the toilet seat up because it’s habit. It’s that simple. After my back surgery, I asked him to leave it down because it was easier for me. He graciously complied. Of course, he’s back to leaving it up. Again, habit. When you wake up 5:00 every morning and are working 50-60 hour weeks, sometimes more, you just don’t think about the toilet seat. I do have one brother that solved that problem. He installer a urinal in his basement bathroom when he remodeled, how inconsiderate of him. Don’t forget, he calls his mom all the time too.

    The next two kind of work together. Opening a door should be nothing more than how you were raised, period. That’s all there is to it. It has nothing more to do with it. Honestly, where did you get your information and how were you raised. Every boy should be taught to open the door for a girl, sister, mom, grandma, teacher. It’s that simple. Same thing goes for picking your nose. How many people teach their children to actually pick it? Make sure they eat it also. Please. You could be really nice and add pulling out her seat or letting her sit first before you take your seat. Trust me, we didn’t grow up with money, in fact dirt poor; but we were raised properly.

    My oldest son bites his nails down to the nub. Again, way off base. A habit started as a child and never stopped. By no means does he suffer from mental, psychological, or emotional issues. He is not insecure or nervous. My youngest son bites his also. I bite mine during a tense football game though, what does that mean. I guess I’m too competitive.

    Again, you just don’t get it. I cuss all the time. Psychologists kill me. Cussing has nothing to do with gender.

    Procastination. This one really pissed me off. This is not a sign of laziness. It does not mean a person is ready to take on the tough stuff, and it really does not mean a person is not dependable. And again, it does not mean they are not goal oriented. It simply means they irritate other people by their actions. Actually, what I find is procastinators are some of the most dependable people and always take on the tough stuff. I, for example, am a huge procrastinator; and it as rubbed off on my boys. And yes, my husband is not; and it drives him crazy. However, people have found that I am the most dependable person there is. At school, I am one of the only parents that attends every holiday function and is there is set up in the classroom (9-year-old twins). The room mothers say they know they can always count on me even though I never show up for a meeting. The same can be said for my boys. I have disabled in-laws, and my family is the only dependable family. We always seem to have time get yard moved gutters cleaned, leaves raked, house cleaned. Procrastinators. Go back go school.

    Crunching ice and slurping food are all about manners. Are you serious. So you crunch your ice. Big deal. There is a time and place for everything. If it’s 95 degrees outside and cutting grass and think i’m entitled to crunch ice. Just keep you mouth closed. Same with food.

    Go back to school. What a joke. Can’t believe that actually put this on the internet

    • Avatar
      Patrick Wanis says:

      Dear Chrissy,

      thank you for your detailed and thorough comments.

      Let me begin by clarifying for everyone reading that the article is about “habits” and not occasional behaviors.
      Habit refers to “an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary”; “customary practice” – something that is done on a daily basis.

      The second point is that I did not choose the ten habits – the author of the article did and asked me for my opinion and responses.

      Please re-read the article carefully – I am not in anyway making any reference to a healthy bond between mom and son – I am referring to the habit “always calls mom” for advice! In other words, he always calls mom and can’t make decisions on his own.

      Next – the habit of always leaving dirty dishes. Your husband obviously doesn’t leave the dishes there for too long because he is washing them for you – thus he is being thoughtful towards you.

      Yes, I teach open the door for all women. Period.
      Yes, if someone isn’t taught to not pick their nose, then the habit develops to pick one’s nose. And yes, I agree it is about upbringing.

      And yes, there are women who cuss as much as men – Aussie women cuss a lot. But I do believe that men cuss more than women.

      Again, I am referring to the habit of procrastination. If you are dependable, “I am the most dependable person there is” then you can’t be a procrastinator.

      With respect to the habit of crunching ice – I am referring to being in the company of others and not being considerate of those around you – whether or not you are a male or female who is crunching ice is irrelevant. You said “There is a time and place for everything. If it’s 95 degrees outside and cutting grass and think i’m entitled to crunch ice. Just keep you mouth closed. Same with food.” Again, you just agreed with me – my comments refer to the habit – not the occasional behavior.

      Remember this article is not an attack on you Chrissy! And again, I am referring to habits – if a person gets drunk occasionally then he is not a habitual drunkard! The same principle applies to the other habits that were referenced in the article.

      All the best,

  43. Avatar
    Jelly Bean says:

    This article is a joke. Some of the items listed may be true but others are ridiculous. Slurping food is done for attention? Entire countries such as Japan do it as a normal eating practice. Leaving the toilet seat up shows you are interested in being right rather than happy? Seriously? It’s not a struggle for power, it’s about not wanting to get piss on the seat. The entire toilet seat thing is idiotic in and of itself. A man goes to use the bathroom like any other human being, and after using it he leaves. Why should a guy think about putting it down for women any more than women think about putting it up for a guy?

    Having stuff like this so widely published is a shame because there will be people out there who believe it and end up causing relationship issues unnecessarily.

    • Avatar
      Patrick Wanis says:

      I agree Jelly Bean that habits are cultural. In some countries burping is a sign of respect and that you enjoyed the meal – but i am writing about Western society and specifically the US, Canada, etc.

      You wrote: “Why should a guy think about putting it down for women any more than women think about putting it up for a guy?”

      You are right – there is no 100% correct answer – except – do whatever works in the relationship. Why fight over “up or down” – that’s why I say “put the seat down for your partner – if your partner is a woman. it’s not worth the arguments – and it simply shows that you are putting here first. What is wrong with that?
      All the best,

  44. Avatar
    Ryan says:

    I mostly disagree with what Dr. Wanis thinks that certain habits mean about a guy. If you pick your nose, you are trying to take care of business. If you crunch ice, you like the texture and the sensation of crunching ice. And on and on. Most guys have at least one of these habits, so Dr. Wanis, apparently a man-hater, thinks all men are selfish and/or sexist. All humans have such flaws and display them to certain degrees, but Dr. Wanis is trying to categorize men according to their bad habits. Is one of a nose-picker’s major traits selfishness? Can’t a guy forget to lower the toilet seat, instead of intentionally not lowering it?

    I just wish he had been more speculative than definitive, as the science of psychology is a tad soft.

    • Avatar
      Patrick Wanis says:

      Dear Ryan,

      thanks for your comments.

      Please note that the article refers to “habits” not a few times when one forgets to lower the toilet seat or occasionally picks his nose. Again, the key word here is habit. For example, the first bad habit is “Always Calling Mom” – not occasionally calling for advice and not as one other reader wrote “I call my mom to see how she is”…

      The same applies to crunching ice – and again i am referring to the habit and when it is done particularly loud -as Wendy points out – women, too crunch on ice.

      Finally, a bad habit is a bad habit – done by a man or a woman. And in the very last bad habit i do quite clearly add:

      “I don’t believe a guy should change every habit he has to appease a woman, because then he’s no longer going to be a guy.”

      All the best,

  45. Avatar
    Wendy A King says:

    I’m a woman & I LOVE eating/crunching my ice from a cold drink, especially when it starts getting a little “soft” (i.e.: it has a sense of “give”). Have been doing so since I was a little girl. So, what does this say about me, a female?

    I’ve never considered crunching ice to be a particularly rude or bad behavior, unless its done in an open mouth, loud or obnoxious manner. I think you were “stretching” here just to reach the number ten.

Comments are closed.