I would like to talk about why we need to forgive and why it is important for our wellbeing and happiness.
Forgiveness is not about the other person who may have wronged you; forgiveness is about you. There are many reasons why people refuse to forgive: 1. fear that if we do forgive we may give the person a second chance and they may hurt us again, 2. we try to control the other person or make them feel guilty -reminding them how they hurt us, 3. we play the victim role to get attention – “look at me, how people have wronged me and how much pain I am in”; 4. we use it as way to isolate ourselves and avoid commitment and intimacy – “I could never trust another man again”, 5. we believe that forgiving the other person justifies, condones or encourages their behavior.
Forgiveness is about setting yourself free from the pain, the suffering, the condemnation and the fear. When we refuse to forgive we are playing in our heads, over and over again, the very incident and pain we experienced. Forgiveness is about letting go of the anger, guilt, blame, shame, bitterness and condemnation that are in our heart which will cause physical illness, prevent us from getting close to others and experiencing love and intimacy. Forgiveness is not about setting the other person free (although it may do that), forgiveness is not always about giving the person a second chance – it is simply about releasing all of the negative emotions within you so that you can be happy. In my book, “How to find happiness” I explain how forgiveness is one key step that leads to finding happiness within yourself. There are 2 other keys.
For spiritual and religious people, I like to outline my belief that love and forgiveness are the path to God ( if you would like to learn more -read my book “Finding God -spiritual strategies to help you find inner peace”) In my next newsletter, I will explain the process of how to forgive.Finally, due to popular demand, I am in the process of converting all of my books into audio books -read by me. And for those of you interested in my many current audio books, you can now listen to my introduction to each book and an audio sample from the book.I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & Clinical Hypnotherapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.