You Learn, After A While, Comes The Dawn – The Poem – video, text and audio

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to share a powerfully inspiring poem which has helped many people embrace and endure life’s challenges as well as find peace, strength and a renewed perspective on life.

First a quick update:

“What Women Look For In A Man”
What do women want in a man? Looks, success, power, wealth or something else? Women are becoming more successful and independent than ever before, so what do men have to offer now? 

“Don’t Date Multiple People – video”
It’s becoming more and more common – dating multiple people at the same time. Don’t date multiple people because it leads to confusion and clearly infers you don’t know what you really want!

Now, let’s talk about a powerfully inspiring poem which has helped many people embrace and endure life’s challenges as well as find peace, strength and a renewed perspective on life.

On December 15, 1982, a reader wrote to Ask Ann Landers syndicated advice column stating that she found an anonymous poem in a crafts store in Minneapolis, called “Comes The Dawn.”

Comes The Dawn

After a while you learn the subtle difference,
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning,
And company doesn’t mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts,
And presents aren’t promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats,
With your head up and your eyes open,
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn,
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure…

That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth,
And you learn and learn,
With every goodbye you learn.

Many years later, a woman by the name of Veronica A. Shoffstall wrote to “Ask Ann Landers” column claiming she was the author and that she wrote it when she was 19, in 1971. In 2004, another woman, Judith B. Evans claimed to be the “authentic author” of this poem. And in 2015, yet another woman, Veronica Rodriguez claimed to be the authentic author of “Comes The Dawn.”

Judith B. Evans retracted her claim when it was revealed to her that the poem already existed in Spanish many years before her claim.

“Comes The Dawn”, also known as “You Learn” and “After A While” was originally in Spanish in the 1940s

In fact, the poem, “Comes The Dawn”, also known under the titles of “You Learn” and “After A While”, is one half of a longer poem “Aprendiendo”, which was written in Spanish and which has been attributed to Jorge Luis Borges (24 August 1899 – 14 June 1986), Argentinian poet, writer and essayist.

It is believed to have been written & published in the 1940s and possibly translated by an American translator collaborating with Borges from 1967 to 1972. At that same time, Borges began to prolifically lecture at American colleges which might also explain how the poem was introduced to people in America. It must also be noted that the poem was published in the Spanish book “Para Que Nunca Lo Olviden” by Barrie Sanford Greif (paperback – December 29, 1999) and was cited as anonymous, and it has also been attributed to Yamira Hernandez of Colombia, since it is argued that it does not match the style of Borges. Thus,  there is no conclusive evidence as to whom exactly is the author of this poem – “You Learn/After A While/Comes The Dawn!

Nonetheless, the original complete Spanish version “Aprendiendo” does not contain any reference to “learning” (the original line is “And you learn that love doesn’t mean sex”) and it does not contain the line “With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child”, and the closing line does not say, “With every goodbye you learn”; it says, “With every day you learn.”

I sincerely don’t believe that the poem needs interpreting or explaining for as you experience life, each of the words, phrases and sentences will reveal their meaning to you. And in order, to fully appreciate and receive the entire message and wisdom of the original Spanish complete poem “Aprendiendo”, you can listen to a reading of the poem by me here, and below it you can read my translation.

After a While, You Learn

“After a while you learn the subtle difference,
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn’t mean sex,
And company doesn’t mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts,
And presents aren’t promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats,
With your head up and your eyes open.

And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn,
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure…

That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth,
And you learn and learn,
With each day you learn.

Over time you learn that being with someone because they offer you a good future, means that sooner or later you’ll want to return to your past.

Over time you understand that the only one who is capable of loving you with your flaws, with no intention of changing you can bring you all happiness.

Over time you learn that if you are with a person only to ease your own loneliness, irremediably you’ll end up not wanting to see them again.

Over time you learn that real friends are few and whoever doesn’t fight for them, sooner or later, will find himself surrounded only with false friendships.

Over time you learn that words spoken in moments of anger continue hurting the other person throughout a lifetime.

Over time you learn that anyone can apologize, but forgiveness emanates only from a great soul.

Over time you learn that if you have hurt a friend harshly it is very likely that your friendship will never be the same.

Over time you realize that despite being happy with your friends, you will cry for those you abandoned.

Over time you realize that every experience lived, with each person, can never be repeated.

Over time you realize that whoever humiliates or scorns another human being, sooner or later will suffer the same humiliations or scorn tenfold.

Over time you learn to build your roads on today, because the path of tomorrow doesn’t exist.

Over time you learn that rushing things or forcing them to happen causes the finale to be different from that you expected.

Over time you realize that in fact the best was not the future, but the moment you were living right in that instant.

Over time you will see that even when you are happy with those around you, you’ll yearn for those who walked away.

Over time you will learn to forgive or ask for forgiveness, to say you love, say you miss, say you need, say you want to be friends, because at the grave, it has no meaning and it’s already late, never let something be too late.

But unfortunately, only over time…”

My wish for you is that the above poem may inspire you, lift you and help you find peace and wisdom during challenging times in your life.

If you need assistance to overcome challenges or be set free from the past and awaken to your worthiness, book a one-on-one session with me. 

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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
www.patrickwanis.com