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Asking For Forgiveness – 7 Steps

Asking for forgiveness
Asking for forgiveness
Asking for forgiveness

I would like to talk about how to ask for forgiveness.

This time of the year can be a painful time for many of us as we try to mend or heal a relationship particularly since there will be dinners, parties and get-togethers where we will be facing family, loved ones and people from our past. My suggestions on how to ask for forgiveness are taken from one of my books:

“Perhaps you need to ask someone’s forgiveness. If so, you may consider writing a letter if it doesn’t hurt the other person. Whether you do it by letter or in person, I suggest the following steps:

  1. Openly admit your mistake
  2. Apologize
  3. Acknowledge how your actions have affected her (allow her to tell you what the effect has been)
  4. Explain why you did this action but do not try to justify it (e.g. I was angry and didn’t know how to respond. I was scared of what you would say or do, etc.)
  5. Reinforce how important she or the relationship is to you
  6. Assure her you will do your best to never let this happen again
  7. Offer to make it up to her and allow her to suggest how you might make it up to her

The exact approach will vary according to the circumstances. The key is to always speak from your heart. An example might be:

I wanted to talk to you about the huge mistake I made. I deeply regret the way I treated you. I know that what I did has truly hurt you and possibly made you lose trust in me. Even as I think about it, I am not fully sure why I did such a stupid thing. I think maybe I was scared to tell you how I truly feel. I am not good at accepting love. Maybe I was trying to push you away because of my own fears and insecurities. You are such an important part of my life. I see you as a blessing and I do not want to lose your friendship or trust in me. I know I am not perfect and can only promise you that I will do my best to never do this again. If you allow me, I would like to make it up to you. Will you forgive me and tell me how I can make it up to you?

Remember, if the person chooses not to forgive you, there is nothing you can do about it. That is his or her choice. It is not about you. The choice not to forgive is the other person’s issue. Don’t make it yours.”

If you would like to learn more about forgiveness and how to appeal to someone for their forgiveness, how to mend a broken relationship, read my book, “Finding God – Spiritual strategies to help YOU find happiness, fulfillment and inner peace.”

I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

Patrick Wanis
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & Clinical Hypnotherapist

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