In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about the New Year’s Resolutions and why I say forget them: There is only one thing you need to do this year.
First a quick update:
“How to get almost anyone to like you”
Read the article I wrote for Date.com and Matchmaker.com here
The New York Observer interviewed me to ask how Hypnotherapy could help Britney Spears and if Dr. Phil made a big mistake. Read my response here.
Mischa Barton, Facebook and the Me Generation, read my insights in The New York Observer .
Listen to the interview I gave on “Success Principles” (Annie Jenning’s PR)
Now let’s talk about New Year’s Resolutions – edited version of the article I wrote for Date.com. Read the full article on my blog.
Do you know what is the number one New Year’s Resolution?
Of course, you do – it’s probably yours as well:
To lose weight!
The next top resolutions are:
- Save or earn more money
- Quit smoking
- Spend more time with family
- Maintain a budget
- Find a better job
- Eat healthy
- Become more organized
- Exercise more
- Become a better person
For most people, New Year’s Resolutions are simply wishes or at best preferences! Less than twenty percent of the people that make resolutions are successful in attaining success in even one of their resolutions!
Some of us resolve to do something and within a month or two, we will drop out. Subsequently, we will then beat ourselves up, telling ourselves that we are weak, undisciplined, powerless, a failure and a loser.
I teach, support and encourage people to set goals. I help my clients to identify the issues or subconscious beliefs that block them from achieving those goals which, now leads me to my key point.
Forget New Year’s Resolutions!
There is only one promise, one goal that I believe you need to set.
Recall that in former articles I have written that the key to all success is what you feel and believe about yourself – what I call the “Law of Deservedness” – you get only what you subconsciously believe you deserve and no more, and if you do get more you will sabotage it. Does that sound familiar?
Make one promise that will help you to then set and achieve all those other goals, dreams, desires and resolutions:
To rid yourself of one of the key subconscious blocks to love, joy, success and happiness: to believe in your self-worth by approving of yourself.
In other words, stop seeking other people’s approval.
Please love and like me
Our desire for the approval, love and acceptance of others is one of the greatest killers of our human potential and happiness. When we do things to please others we lose all sense of who we are and we become powerless and unhappy.
When we act, say and do whatever others want us to in order to have them like us, we are in effect saying, “Your opinion of me is more important than my opinion of myself.”
Seek your own approval
Ultimately we are all seeking other people’s approval so that we can approve ourselves. In effect, we are saying, “If you like me, then I will be able to like myself…if you tell me I am good and worthy and special then I will believe that I am good and worthy and special. If you notice the beauty in me, then maybe I will notice it…”
So it doesn’t matter what you accumulate, what you achieve or how much and how many other people love you, all that matters for happiness is how much you like and love yourself. Remember, too, that no one can ever love you more than you love yourself, because you won’t let them. I recall one girlfriend saying to me, “No one has ever treated me even one-eighth as well as you do…and I don’t know what do with it.”
So, what did she do with it?
She sabotaged it and did everything she could to push me away to destroy the relationship. And at the end of it all, after she had destroyed the relationship, she said to me, “Why do I hate myself so much to want to create this as my reality? I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” She wouldn’t let me love her, because she didn’t love herself. There can be few things more painful and saddening to me than witnessing and experiencing someone who cannot recognize the beauty in them.
Can you see the beauty in you?
Can you like, love and accept yourself, all of you?
The Final Word
As a Human Behavior Expert and Clinical Hypnotherapist, I can assure you that we all need love, attention, approval, validation, appreciation and recognition from other people. We all need to be needed. These are some of the basic human needs as are food, water, shelter and skin love (the physical love and affection of other human beings.) If we did not need these things we would not be human; rather we would be like the amoeba cell that simply reproduces itself.
Thus, first seek your own approval but also allow yourself to receive the love, approval, recognition, appreciation and validation of others. Simply put, do not tie all of your self-worth and self-esteem to what others say or think about you. First, like, love, accept and approve of yourself, and then others will do the same to you.
Be true to yourself.
In the same manner that many ancient peoples performed rituals to do away with the past and purify themselves for the New Year, begin in 2008 to love and accept yourself, believing that you do deserve the best – love, joy, success and happiness.
Read my full article on New Year’s Resolutions at my Blog.
May 2008, bring your dreams to fruition and may you realize that you are worthy of the best!
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & Clinical Hypnotherapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.