In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about your identity: who are you?
First a quick update:
“Jealousy, insecurity and ogling other beautiful people”
Listen to the interview I gave to Jim Peake of mysuccessgateway.com about a study that says men and women ogle beautiful people of the opposite sex but also check out and beautiful rivals. I reveal that: Women compete with and are threatened by other beautiful women; the terms that men use to compete with other men; what threatens men; the power struggle that men perpetrate, and; how to make your partner more attracted to you and more secure around you.
Now let’s talk about identity.
In my last success newsletter, I wrote an appeal that we beware of the common message of advertising that there is something wrong with you, you are not good enough or you are incomplete and therefore you need to purchase xyz products to compensate. In other words, with an ulterior motive the media tells us who we are and what’s wrong with us and how to fix it. This point also ties into your identity. Most of us think of our identity only in terms of our name, gender, age, address and social security number.
This is what I refer to as our legal identity.
Recently, I was in New York and spoke to students at Lindenhurst Senior High school (ages 14-18.) I posed the question to the students: Who are you?
Expectedly, most students answered the question with responses about age, name, siblings and so forth. One student, proudly exclaimed, “I am an aspiring doctor.” I said “No, that’s who you want to be. Who are you?” I kept asking the question until one student, in complete surrender, dropping her head, said “I don’t know what you mean.” I then replied with “Few people know who they truly are. Few people take the time to sit down and think and acknowledge what it is that makes them unique and special. Few people list and acknowledge their own talents, gifts and abilities.”
Why does this point even matter? Why is it significant? I told the students, “If you don’t know who you are then you will be blindly copying other people; dressing, acting and emulating celebrities; ignorantly listening to and believing what other people say about who and what you are and what you deserve and; you will constantly be seeking other people’s approval.” Parents and psychologists know that it is during our teenage years that we struggle as we seek out our identity. However, the dangers of not being clear about our identity affect all of us, regardless of our age.
So who are you? What is your identity?
I explained to the students that we live life in four realms: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. Thus, defining who you are must be done within the context of the four realms. Who are you, what do you believe and what do you value in mental, physical, emotional and spiritual terms? What do you believe about yourself, your worth and what you deserve? What type of world do we live in – a kind, giving world full of opportunities or a mean, selfish world that just takes?
Although my presentation was highly interactive, whereby I challenged the students to think and speak their truth to me and everyone present, there were times when the entire room became so quiet, you could have heard a pin drop. One of the key points to which the students reacted with silence, deep thought, reflection and even shock was when I challenged them to evaluate from where do their beliefs about everything in life come? Of course, the answer is that we learned almost all of our beliefs subconsciously as children by what we saw our parents do (we copied them), by what we heard our parents tell us about us and life (we took on their beliefs) and by what we experienced (conclusions we made about us and life.)
The key is: we can keep our beliefs or we can change them based on whether they serve us and work in our benefit or not. And the younger and sooner you start, the easier it is to change those beliefs before they become deeply embedded or reinforced.
Step one is awareness: Who are you and what do you believe about yourself and self-worth? Are you willing to begin to change those beliefs that work against you?
It is your beliefs that will determine your self-confidence, self-esteem, success and happiness in life.
If you are interested in becoming supremely confident, consider using my new hypnosis CD: Supreme Self-Confidence.
Read my article “Overcoming your False Self”
Remember to check out my Blog on my website to read my past Success Newsletters, post your comments and take a few exciting quizzes. If you have received this newsletter as a forward and would like to receive all of my newsletters please enter your email address on the home page.
I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & Clinical Hypnotherapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.