Entries by Patrick Wanis Ph.D.

When All Of This Is Over, How Will We Have Changed?

Many of us identify with our possessions, and we are often clamoring to be somewhere else rather than where we are at this present moment. Now, though, we are forced to face ourselves. The question arises, who are you and what is really important to you in life? Every one of us is experiencing some form of loss.

Coronavirus: How To Stay Calm and Overcome Fear, Loneliness & Panic

Imagine now a time in the future when the pandemic is over and someone asks you, “How did you handle and survive the Coronavirus pandemic”? What would you say to them? This is a powerful exercise to help you to identify and articulate what qualities and character traits you need to draw upon now to formulate a healthy response to the crisis and pandemic.

If He Doesn’t Love Me, Then I Am Worthless

You created a belief that includes ‘should’ or ‘must’: He should love me (in this way) or I am no good; he must love me for me to believe and feel and experience that I am valuable, special and good enough. And if he doesn’t love me in the way I want and demand, then I know he is awful, life is awful, and I am nothing.

Are You In Love Or Are You Obsessed?

When you are consumed by thoughts about the other person, driven by a fear of loss or the fear that you’ve screwed up, and you’re thinking more about owning, controlling or possessing the other person, or you’re thinking more about how this person can benefit you or whether or not they will love you back rather than the love that you can express to them, then yes, you are experiencing obsession rather than love.

Love Or Obsession?

When you are consumed by thoughts about the other person, driven by a fear of loss or the fear that you’ve screwed up, and you’re thinking more about owning, controlling or possessing the other person, or you’re thinking more about how this person can benefit you or whether or not they will love you back rather than the love that you can express to them, then yes, you are experiencing obsession rather than love.

Coronavirus – Fear Is Our New Collective Consciousness

Why is everyone panicking over Coronavirus? Fear is our new collective consciousness! Fear of climate change; fear of lies and propaganda; fear of guns, fear of losing our guns; fear of being sick; fear of Russia; fear of the government; fear of losing our privacy; fear of illegal immigrants; fear of China; fear of terrorists; […]

Can You Tame Your Monkey Mind? Here’s A Simple Technique

Your 65,000 daily thoughts, ramblings, rumination, restlessness, agitation, distraction, obsessiveness, prophecies of doom, and the incessant desire to keep moving are all the work of the monkey mind. So, who is in charge? Is it you or your monkey mind? Here’s a technique to help you tame the monkey mind.

Can Women Find Love On A Reality TV Show Like The Bachelor? Here’s Unusual Dating & Relationship Advice

Behavior & Relationship Expert,  author of Get Over Your Ex Now, Patrick Wanis, PhD, offers unusual dating and relationship advice and, shares the one secret to falling in love! 1. What are the chances of women finding love on a dating and relationship reality TV show like The Bachelor? Anyone can find love anywhere; love […]

Are You Feeling Sad After a Breakup? You’re Not Alone. 7 Steps To Overcome Sadness

The worst advice that anyone can give you when you are feeling sad is to tell you to stop feeling sad and instead be happy. You are not a robot, and the experience of intense emotions, both positive and negative, is part of being human. You cannot expect or long to experience ecstasy, joy, love and excitement without also recognizing that you will also experience pain and suffering.

Do You Own Your Decisions Or Do You Make These 3 Crippling Mistakes?

The 3 mistakes of internal blame (self-loathing), external blame (victimhood, excuses, blaming others) or drama and negative emotions (incessant anger, bitterness, negative energy and loss of impulse control) or, we can take extreme ownership (accept responsibility for everything in our world and focus on a solution and learn from the experience.)

What Really Motivates Politicians? Is It Service, Legacy Or The Temptation Of Power & Perks?

Politics is work of a kind that requires especially pure people, because it is especially easy to become morally tainted.
There is something treacherous, delusive, and ambiguous in the temptation of power.

What Is Your Biggest Regret? The Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying

my greatest regret is that I never ‘knew’ my father – I never had a relationship with him; I was far too angry and too judgmental. Forgiveness and compassion on my part came much too late, and so, as a result we both missed out.

Focusing On The Bad Destroys Relationships

the destructive responses are much more powerful than the constructive responses in relationships. We learn more from setbacks and penalties than we do from successes and rewards: we respond to the painful more than to the joyful experiences.

Was It Really Bad Timing Or The Wrong Person?

Don’t confuse personality, character and values with timing – being relationship ready

Neutralize Your Anxiety – Face Your Greatest Fear & Worst Outcome

.Why would you think that ‘this could never happen’ when it has already happened to others? “Hope for that which is utterly just, and prepare yourself for that which is utterly unjust.”

8 Blind Spots Between Men and Women

4. Men feel they are walking on eggshells with women
“Men say they often feel they can’t express their ideas or be their natural, casual selves without the fear of inadvertently saying or doing something that may upset a woman.”

12 Life Lessons From Children With Terminal Illnesses

11. Family is everything. Finally, they ALL valued time with their family. Nothing was more important.

Regret Is a Poison – You’re Not Your Mistakes

When you steep yourself in the tea of regret, you begin to drown because you cannot think of anything else except that which you have no control over, namely the past. Instead of taking control of your life, you become chained to the past, longing to have done things differently and no longer focusing on what you can now control, and the way you can shape and mold your life.

Did Your Ex Fool You? Do You Feel Stupid Over The Relationship?

When you look at the victims of online romance scams or of James Arthur Ray, you find that there is always one thing in common: the victims were in a state of deep vulnerability and were also looking to fill emotional needs or an emotional void.

I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead

After 24 hours without sleep, your performance is impaired to the same degree as a legally drunk person of blood alcohol content of 0.10%. Would you let or a drunk Uber driver drive you home, or a drunk doctor operate on you?